- girl: babe come over
- boy: I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple
- girl: my parents aren't home
- boy: I know
Because Mommy is forever.
It’s such a powerful name. Mommy means “I trust you.” Mommy means “you will protect me.” Mommy is for shouting when you need someone dependable and for laughing with when you are excited; Mommy is for crying on and cuddling with when you are sad or giggling and hiding behind when you are embarrassed. Mommy is the fixer of boo-boos and the mender of broken hearts. Mommy is a comfort place, a safe place. Mommy means you are mine and I am yours and we are family.
"You’re so bitter about men, it’s not fair."
Um, not fair to who? You, the guy who is trying to manipulate me into sleeping with you by pretending to give a shit about me?
You’re so right. Regardless of what my 21 years have taught me about men and how they treat me, I should trust that you’re different. Regardless of what every man I’ve ever fucked has taught me about what I do or do not want to do with my body, I should totally just fuck you too because you’re not like any of those other ones. Regardless of all the guys who’ve said the exact same shit you’re saying to me right now and not meant it, I know you really do.
New rule: if you have a penis, don’t talk to me about anything that isn’t PG unless I explicitly tell you I’m interested or I’ll twist your dick off. Cool? Cool.